Top 10 Alternate Endings to Deathly Hallows
We’ve got our own theory as to how the Harry Potter series will end; but there’s always a chance that JK Rowling will go with another ending, one that is perhaps based on other popular books, movies or TV shows. Without further ado, here’s our list of the top 10 alternate endings to Deathly Hallows:
- 10. Scooby Doo ending - Voldemort is captured, and is revealed to be Filch wearing a mask. As he is hauled away, he shouts, “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”
- 9. South Park ending: After defeating Voldemort, Harry and Ron address the audience, saying, “You know, I’ve learned something today.” Suddenly, Ginny is run over by the Knight Bus, prompting Ron to shout, “They killed Ginny!” Harry responds, “You bastards!” Neville laughs and says it’s because Ginny was poor.
- 8. Star Wars ending; Voldemort reveals himself to in fact be Harry’s father.
- 7. CSI: Miami ending: Harry, Ron and Hermione collect evidence linking Voldemort to the murder of Albus Dumbledore. When confronted, Voldemort challenges Harry to prove he did it; Harry puts on his sunglasses, holding up a single strand of Voldemort’s hair, responds, “I don’t have to, you already did.”
- 6. 24 ending: It is revealed that Voldemort was really just working for the French, and Madame Maxime was really behind the entire plot to destroy the wizarding world. At the last second, Harry is able to diffuse the device Maxime had planted that would neutralize all wizard’s power in all of England. Just as they begin to celebrate, Harry is captured by the Chinese and when we last see him, he is on a boat to China.
- 5. Brokeback Mountain ending: After wishing he could “quit him,” Harry finally finds out that Draco was beaten to death with wands by a group of angry Deatheaters. The book closes with Harry gazing longingly into his trunk, in which he has Draco’s Slytherin robe wrapped around his own Invisibility Cloak. Harry mumbles, “I swear, Draco.” and sheds a single tear.
- 4. Lord of the Rings ending: Harry and Ron finally destroy the final horcrux by throwing it into a bubbling lave pit deep beneath Hogwarts, killing Lord Voldemort in the process, but at the same time weakening the foundations of Hogwarts, trapping Harry and Ron miles beneath the surface. where they gaze into each others eyes, too afraid to talk of the love that dare not speak it’s name. Just as they pass out, Fawkes rescues them and they both live out their lives married to their respective spouses
- 3. A Few Good Men ending: In the process of defeating Lord Voldemort, Ron and Hermione accidentally kill Draco. They are brought to trial before the Wizengamut, and Harry must act as their lawyer. Harry believes that Ron and Hermione were only following orders from Percy, and so he calls Percy to the stand. After a few hours of intense questioning, Harry finally tricks Percy into admitting he ordered the attack on Malfoy. As he is led off to Azkaban, Percy remarks, “All you did was weaken the wizarding world today, Potter. That’s all you did.”
- 2. Back to the Future ending: Harry, Ron and Hermione defeat Voldemort by traveling back through time to 1955. While there, they befriend a young, and not yet evil, Tom Riddle. By showing him love and friendship, Tom grows up to be a swell guy, in fact, he’s Dumbledore’s personal assistant. Just as we think things are going to be OK, Mad Eye Moody shows up, grabs Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny and herds them to his nuclear powered broom time machine. When Harry asks what is wrong with them in future, Moody replies, “You turn out fine…it’s your kids!”
- 1. Harry Potter ending: It’s the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. ‘Nuff said.
April 5th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
[...] Harry Potter Prognostications Think Harry Potter is just for kids? Think again. « Top 10 Alternate Endings to Deathly Hallows [...]
April 6th, 2007 at 12:13 am
This is hysterical!
April 6th, 2007 at 7:42 am
SCOOBY DOO!!! AWESOME!! THAT WAS THE BEST, YOU GUYS!!! Good Stuff!
April 6th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
This was funny.
I assume number eleven was the Idol ending where Lucious informs readers to call or text who they want to finally kill Voldemort.
For Harry its 1888 555 6789
For Ron its 1888 555 6890
For Hermione its 1888 555 6891
For Snape its 1888 555 6892
Remember folks login your vote on who should kill the dark lord.
April 6th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Great Podcast guys… but what happened to the “The Office” alternate ending for Deathly Hallows??? I need to find out whether Ginny will end up with Bob Vance, of Bob Vance Refrigeration after Harry dumps her for that Hufflepuff hussy, Susan Bones…
April 7th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
The Austin Powers ending…. Harry steals Voldemorts mojo! YEAH BABY! Greg would make a great Austin Powers with his accent.
April 7th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
The Christmas Story ending. ,,,,,, wWith their wands redered useless the Dark Lord resolves to kill Harry with his Red Ryder 200 shot air rifle with the compass in the stock, ( a horecrux btw) Harry stands alone bracing himself for the end as Voldemort lifts his blue steeled beauty and takes aim. A shot is fired and the deadly projectile ricochets of Harry’s glasses and shoots Voldemorts eye out, Just as foretold. Once on the ground and blinded the Dark Lord is then ripped to shreds by the bumpess’s dogs whicj have managed to sneak thru. Harry with shattered spectials finds Hemine and Ron snogging in the living room under the leg shaped lamp. Hermine zaps a repair to Harry’s glasses and ron turns on the lamp stating not valuable but brilliant! The end.
April 8th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
All of these are great! Keep em coming!!
April 8th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
I just want to say thanks for the awesome endings!!
April 9th, 2007 at 10:39 am
The Pride and Prejudice Ending
After years of supposedly loathing each other, Voldemort finds himself attracted to Harry and proposes to Harry. Harry refuses and criticizes Voldy. The next morning he goes out to take a walk and clear his mind when he is approached by Voldemort. Voldemort holds out a letter and Harry sits down at a nearby bench to read it. The letter contains the explanations Voldy has for his actions. Harry then understands… It is when Bellatrix Lestrange and Ron announce their marriage plans that Harry accepts Voldy’s proposal. Harry(Elizabeth Bennet), Voldy(Darcy), and Lucius(Georgiana) live happily ever after as brothers and sisters
April 11th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
What about the Wonder Pets ending…Harry (guinea pig), Ron (the turtle), Hermione (the duck). The fire, the fire is calling! There’s a muggle in trouble, somewhere! The Wonder Pets team save the day killing Voldemort and wrap it up by having fresh celery
Thanks for the brilliant laugh…I especially like the Office ending and the Southpark Ending :-))))
April 11th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
All of these are great and I love the detail everyone put into them, but I have to say- Virginia Mama- I love yours THE BEST! You know about our love for the wonderpets.
OUr children go into the fridge and say, “This calls for some celery” and then chomp on it. It is hysterical!
April 11th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
Hey Dee do you know what wonder pets are? No? Guess we are older than dirt. My son thought it was one of those electronic pets. I ask my youngest all he said was that celery actually burns more calories than it gives nutritionally and that turtles, ducks and guinea pigs in actuality probably wouldn’t eat it. I sure miss the days when you could turn on Barney or teletubies and have 30 minutes of peace while they stared mindlessly at the screen.
April 11th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Wonder Pets is probably less than a year old. It is on Nick Jr. and it is brilliant! You can watch an episode or 2 on nickjr.com. I know your kids are above it, but it is just the cutest show.
April 13th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Highlander ending…….. Harry chops off Voldemortes head with the sword of Godric Griffendore and scrams,” There can be only ONE !!!! “
April 14th, 2007 at 7:44 am
I laught a lot when I reed it…congratulations!!!!!!
April 16th, 2007 at 3:24 am
Lord of the rings ending:
Harry and voldermort battle in the fiery depths of Hogwarts, harry with his invisibility cloak. Voldermort mounts Harry’s back, bites of his finger but is subsequently thrown of cackling into the pit below.
April 21st, 2007 at 7:24 am
VERY funny, great work! I love the CSI ending.
June 21st, 2007 at 3:44 am
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June 21st, 2007 at 2:32 pm
The Jason Bourne ending. Hermione is killed by Voldemort leading Harry to pop back on the grid. The recent memories that have been haunting him come back, and he remembers everything. Harry fights Snape in hand to hand combat beating him and learning the last piece of information needed to find the horcrux, after which he destroys it and kills Voldemort. Years later he takes a teaching position at Hogwarts and later goes underground.
July 20th, 2007 at 4:39 am
this was absolutely hilarious
I just found out about these podcasts an the website about 2 days ago andi hvae been downloadin all the podcasts I missed out
thanks